I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling stressed and overwhelmed at the moment. I think all 4 of us in this house are, and I’m sure a lot of people are. Especially parents, and even more so parents of children with special needs. I said in my last post I was planning to take time out for the next couple of weeks, to spend plenty of time with the kids. Truth be told, it’s as much for my own benefit, as I was just feeling so overwhelmed with everything.
I think Lily is finding things most difficult in our house at the moment. She’s been off from school for so long now, it’s proving more and more difficult to keep her entertained. With no holiday, and no real days out, she’s become bored. She is also being very vocal about not wanting to go back to school, which is no surprise. I firmly believe she needs a SEN school, and we are going to have a battle on our hands to get her a place.
This time at home has really highlighted Lily’s autism, and where it has a negative affect. She’s been really confused by what’s going on, her anxiety levels have been more visible than ever before. She is having numerous meltdowns everyday, though I think we’ve often overlooked her meltdowns in the past. As they are not as violent, or dangerous as Jack. But a meltdown is a meltdown, and will be just as distressful for Lily.
What is sleep?
One major issue is getting Lily to sleep at night, which of course has a knock on affect on mine and Natalie’s sleep. If we can get her to sleep before 2am at the moment, it’s a miracle. She already takes medication to help her sleep, so it might be a case of the dose needing increasing. Which is what happened with Jack as he got bigger. The chance of getting an appointment with the paediatrician right now? Not bloody likely.
I’m sure this is factoring into me feeling stressed and overwhelmed, but this is the life of the “autism parent”. Thankfully, apart from being argumentative and the odd meltdown. Jack has been pretty easy to deal with, as he’s been busy building stuff on minecraft.
Since lockdown started, way back when. I’ve basically no quality “me time” at all. Sure, I’ve grabbed a few minutes peace here and there, but those hours in the day when the kids are at school. Where you can just get stuff done, I’m sorely missing. I feel like I’m constantly trying to juggle doing 2 or 3 things at a time. As much as I’ll miss the kids being around, when they go back to school. I’ll be grateful not to have them under my feet all day long hah!
I had a lot of plans for house, garden and garage this year, and although some bits are getting done. It’s so difficult with 2 kids who need your constant attention. One major job I have managed to do, with the help of my parents. Is take out the bushes in our back garden, which was something we’ve been looking at for a couple of years. We get birds nesting in them, which is why we’ve kept them so long. But they grow like crazy, and every single one of them comes with massive thorns. Which I kept getting stuck in various body parts, never mind the kids.
So we decided to take them out, and put new stuff in, whilst also incorporating a fairy garden for Lily. Which should be fun. Here’s before and after photos to show you the difference, the garden feels like it’s twice the size it used to be. The bare patch in the middle had already been cut down, and was the highest part, before I thought about taking a photo. I’m still getting used to thinking about photo opportunities for the blog.
As I said, feeling stressed and overwhelmed has left me not feeling motivated to write what I would call “proper” blog posts the last few weeks. Coming on and having a bit of a rant like this, is pretty easy. Writing properly about a certain subject, takes time and a bit space to think. Which I’ve just not been getting. I have started one, I just need to finish it. Anyway, I have kept up with my daily pinning to Pinterest, so despite the lack of new posts. August is well on the way to being my best month for views, which is definitely helping keep the morale up!
This has gone on long enough, as always I appreciate everyone for taking the time to read, and I hope you’re all having a lovely summer.